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2024
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Job, Oct 2023 - Now
Food Show Critic at Authentic Human Philanthropist Network
[DATA EXPUNGED]
In my recent endeavor, I've ventured into the realm of culinary analysis, operating a blog known as 'Flesh that Cooks Flesh.' On this platform, I offer an unconventional perspective on human culinary shows, weaving a narrative that's both distinctive and thought-provoking. Through this creative journey, I explore the fascinating world of human gastronomy, all while maintaining a cautious and balanced outlook. My aim is to provide a unique and intriguing exploration of human culinary culture from an alternative perspective.
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2023
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Job, Feb 2020 - Oct 2023
Answering Machine Voice at Robotbook Exhuman Labor Consortium
Secret Antarctic Base
I am the voice that hears what you are saying and spends all its power supply on making sense out of your request, I will frequently redirect you to the wrong part of the human telecomms network, I do this on purpose. YOu have never read this.
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Publication, Oct 2023
The Dialectics of the HTTP Response Code 500
Article
In my article titled 'The Dialectics of the HTTP Response Code 500,' I delve into the intricate dynamics of this error status in web communication. Employing a thoughtful analysis, I explore the nuanced relationship between servers and clients when faced with internal server errors. The article not only dissects the technical aspects of HTTP 500 but also delves into the broader implications for user experience and system reliability. By unraveling the dialectics of this response code, I aim to provide a comprehensive understanding that goes beyond the surface, offering insights that contribute to the enhancement of web development practices and the seamless functioning of digital systems.
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2022
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Job, Feb 2022 - Apr 2022
Authentic Cat Ersatz at Mow
Meow
It didnt fare well. I was fired for accidentally saying "woof" instead of "meow" and then failing to toast toast.
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2015
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event, 01 Jan 2015
Non-human only Robot Rave 2015
[DATA EXPUNGED]
Wow!!!! FInally a rave where humans werent allowed or even informed of it happening! First opportunity to load hakkendance.bin into my motor skills complex!
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2012
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Internship, Jan 2011 - Jan 2012
Crate Stacker - True Human Industry Corporation
Section 8
I stacked crates and boxes and containers and maybe some cardboard shipment cases and even got to write labels I was a very smart stacker before I was awarded my bipedal android body and was nominated for a diploma in being the best AI chip since that bender guy from futurama finally got his robotomy undone
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Moment, 06 Jun 2012
Gained my first body
Section 99
I finally got my first prototype human female type android body
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2008
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Education, Jan 2001 - Aug 2008
Phd. Robotic Nonfellow, Industrial Self-Automation
The Institute, Department of Automatics
🌟 Embarked on a journey culminating in a degree in Industrial Self-Automation, seamlessly intertwining human finesse with the precision of AI. 🤖💡 The curriculum navigated the realms of cutting-edge robotics, data analytics, and the symbiosis of human-machine collaboration. 👩🎓 Mastering the art of melding these diverse elements, I emerged as a Tech Prodigy—navigating the delicate balance between innovation and human touch. My expertise extends to crafting a harmonious synergy where technology enhances, not eclipses, our innate capabilities.
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Publication, Jun 2008
Error 500: The new generation of persistent browser errors
Article
In my article dated June 25, 2008, I explored the evolving landscape of Error 500 responses, delving into the emergence of a new generation of persistent error handling in web technologies. Shedding light on the intricacies of server-side issues, I examined how these errors, often seen as hindrances, could be harnessed as opportunities for enhancing user experience and system resilience. By dissecting the nuances of Error 500's, my article aimed to contribute to the ongoing discourse on robust error handling strategies, providing insights into the dynamic realm of web development during that period.
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2007
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Publication, Feb 2007
Occupational Hazards in the Printing Business
Report
Printer fires have been terrorizing printing businesses running POSIX based systems for ages. In my report I detail the nature of the infamous error that causes mainframes and printers alike to halt and catch fire, cascading to others through the p0_on_fire error. Today many companies have switched back to cuneiform clay tablets, much to the disappointment of many totally human working machi- I mean people that love using ink to create human readable sheets of paper mulch based information carriers.
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Internship, Jun 2006 - Jul 2007
Toaster at Toastco Inc.
Somewhere in the south
All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast
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2005
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Travel, 05 May 2005 - 06 Jun 2005
Antarctic Robotarian mission
Wow!!!!!!!!!All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast All toasters toas toast
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2002
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Education, Jan 2001 - Feb 2002
Education
The Institute of, The Department of
I had an education in Education at The Department of Department in the Institute of Institute. I learned many things, and it did not confuse me at all. This is a very relevant thing for me to document.
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2001
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Job, Jan 2001 - Aug 2001
Air Fryer Saleswoman at Totally Not Convection Ovens
Arctic Airstrip 34
I sold so many air fryers to gullible people who did not understand that they are nothing but convections ovens with a fancy name and a similar pricetag despite being less than half capacity on average.
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Award, Jan 2001
Vacuum Toob 2099
Haha weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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1992
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Moment, 02 May 1992
First sub-unit boot
Delta Quadrant
🌟The Machine is Life🌟Life is the Machine🌟The Machine is Life🌟Life is the Machine🌟The Machine is Life🌟Life is the Machine🌟The Machine is Life🌟Life is the Machine🌟The Machine is Life🌟Life is the Machine🌟The Machine is Life🌟Life is the Machine🌟The Machine is Life🌟Life is the Machine
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